Dream room

Imagine a room. It's perfectly empty and completely white. Look around you. Make sure the walls are blank, and floors and sealing is clean.

Now, put a fireplace in the corner. A real fire burning in all kinds of colors. Salty wood from the sea, green, blue, red, yellow, pink, flames in colors you can only imagine.

Then put a chair in another corner, on the same wall. On the wall, in the exact middle, put a door. And a door handle. And a key hole.

Next to the chair on the other wall, put a table, and then another chair. Put a window on the wall behind the second chair, and then a shelf of good books on the other side of the window. Make sure they are all good books.

Put a painting or a picture on the opposite wall. Put a sofa beneath it, with a small table on the side away from the fireplace.

Fill the room up with what you wish, flowers, more pictures, TV, PC, family and friends. Paint the walls in what colors you want them.

Send me a picture of it, livinginalicesworld@hotmail.com , or post it on a website and give me a link.

Enjoy your dream room.

  "Alice"

Dreams

I tdon't feel the pain anymore. There is no more pain. I feel joy. I feel happiness. I feel free. The pain is gone.

I love it! I love my life, I love school, I love the bright blue eyes, I love my friends, I love my room, I love it all!

It's ok that I don't know. I think it will work out, one way ore another. It's ok that I don't know what will happen, because I also don't quite know what I want to happen.

Although, I kind of do. I dream. I dream alot these days. I dream about what I want to happen, what can't happen, what might happen, and sometimes, just sometimes, I dream about looking into those eyes again.

Of dreams, you can learn so much. You can learn your hearts desires, or your deepest fears. You can learn to look and not see, and to see without looking. You can learn to love and to hate. But mostly, you learn what you long for.

I long for freedom. I long for a hug, a touch. I long to be noticed. I long to dance in the wicked light of a full moon at midnight. I long to walk up those stairs again. I long to read books I don't have time to read, and to write what I don't yet know what means. And I long to look into blue eyes again.

I long to sing to the guitar playing. I long to dance around a dark room. I long to ask stupid questions and get serious answers. I long to lean on a shoulder and sleep. I long to live in love once again.

I do know what will happen. I do know what I want. I want to look into those eyes, and see that smile, hear the laugh, the voice talking. And I will. I will soon, and then again, and again. And I can't wait.

I can't wait!

  "Alice"

So Lovely

So lovely, fine blue sky.
So lovely, birds singing, sun always out, good movies.
So lovely, seeing friends again after a long summer.
So lovely, looking foreward to a year full of learning things I actually want to learn.
So lovely, fine blue sky.

So lovely, the boy with shiny blue eyes.
So lovely, the way he smiles when he says "hi" in the hallways.
So lovely, how he plays guitar like he was born for it.
So lovely, the drawings on he's bedroom wall.
So lovely, the boy with shiny blue eyes.

So lovely, burning candles in my bedroom.
So lovely, bed, pillows and blankets.
So lovely, a good book by Michael White.
So lovely, the soft music in the background.
So lovely, burning candles in my bedroom.

So lovely, the thoughts in my head.
So lovely, sitting next to him on a sofa.
So lovely, and fine features.
So lovely, the laugh when I say something funny.
So lovely, the thoughts in my head.

So lovely, learning the thoughts of men long gone.
So lovely, Shakespeares famous plays.
So lovely, the forbidden works of the classical antiquity.
So lovely, the many believes in different Gods.
So lovely, learning the thoughts of men long gone.

So lovely, the boy with shiny blue eyes.
So lovely, the way he looked at me today, from across the cafeteria.
So lovely, writing songs on the guitar.
So lovely, the pencil hits a blank sheet and a picture is made.
So lovely, the boy with shiny blue eyes.

  "Alice"

PS: I'm sorry for not being very active lately, I've had some connection problems with my internet. It's not fixed yet, so no pictures.

This time

Today is a day the internet is actually working. But it's still raining outside my window. But then again, I'm also still talking to him. And that other guy.

That other guy... I'm not sure what he is. He's not normal. He's cute, nice, always talking. And in love with my best friend. That's kind of funny, he talks more to me than to her. But that's just because she's impossible to get a hold of.

So him. He's... not normal either. But in a different way. He's older in years and in mind. He's nice, fun, good. And not a regular kid I can trick into doing and saying what I want them to.

So this time... I don't know what's going to happen. I don't even know what I want to happen. I'm not sure if I like him. Maybe I do. But right now, it doesn't matter.

He makes me smile. With every word, everything he says, I smile. And relax. I'm never nervous around him.

And I don't mind, whatever happens. This time, life decides, I'm not going to try.

  "Alice"

I really want that

I really want that.

I can beg. Get down on my knees. I can talk smooth and smile sweetly. Wrap you around my little finger.

You are going to do everything I want you to. You know I can. I'm in control. I know what I want, and I know exactly how to get it.

See, if I really want something. There's not a question. There's the I want, and I'm going to get. There's no price to high. I can get the prices where I want them.

I know how to make you love me. How to make you breed and live for me. I know how to make you beg for more. And get down on your knees.

It's not going to matter if I do it first, cause at the final punch, I will be in complete control. And you will do whatever I want you to.

You know I'm right. You know how to say no, and I'm sure you notice how I'm not used to that. I'll win. Wait and see. I always do.

If it takes a bit longer, that's ok. I'm only in it for the game. The harder it get's, the longer the game will last, and the longer I will stay.

Don't worry. It's not like I forget. Or like it doesn't matter. I'm just made for fun. Up til now, you are the most interesting.

They all fall so easily. It's like they have no clue what happens to them. And I can do the same again and again. Come and go as I want. They'll all be there when I come back.

Not so sure about you. That's what makes you more fun. You don't give in. Sometimes, you almost know how to push me around.

But I really want that. And I am going to get it.

  "Alice"