My Head

The music in my ears, my head running wild.

I'm having a good time, I'm entertained by my own mind and imagination.

You would have loved to be inside my head.

But try for now, only to understand your own.

What are you thinking about?

  "Alice"

Autumn

It smells like autumn outside. So sweet and colorful, lovely.

Autumn is my favorite time of the year. Not because school starts again, or because the temperature is droppig, or because it's constantly raining, but because it's the most colorful time of the year. It's the time of year that creates the most inspiration.

Autumn is when everything can happen. I would honestly not be surprised if a cow stuck it's head in my window right now. I wouldn't even blink if a tiny, pink dragon shot out of my closet and started to twist and twirl around my room, spitting sparks.

I feel like singing and dancing, I wanna run under a full moon, I can't wait to yell and scream out to the world how wonderous the it is!

Sometimes I dream about the cool autumn rain always falling, about the leaves of the trees always being yellow, red and pink, the grass always as green as right before the first snow falls, and the sweet autumn smell always stealing into my room.

I don't mind the grey sky or pouring rain. It's what makes me feel alive. Oh, how I love running in the wet grass, and the fresh smell in the morning after a rainy night. It's what makes the world spin.

Autumn is the only time I can walk outside all day in a simple t-shirt, and yet when night comes, just wait for when I can crawl under the warm sheets in my bed and dream good dreams. It's the only time of year when night and day are equally good.

And it's the time of year when anything can happen. Anything.

  "Alice"

Dream room

Imagine a room. It's perfectly empty and completely white. Look around you. Make sure the walls are blank, and floors and sealing is clean.

Now, put a fireplace in the corner. A real fire burning in all kinds of colors. Salty wood from the sea, green, blue, red, yellow, pink, flames in colors you can only imagine.

Then put a chair in another corner, on the same wall. On the wall, in the exact middle, put a door. And a door handle. And a key hole.

Next to the chair on the other wall, put a table, and then another chair. Put a window on the wall behind the second chair, and then a shelf of good books on the other side of the window. Make sure they are all good books.

Put a painting or a picture on the opposite wall. Put a sofa beneath it, with a small table on the side away from the fireplace.

Fill the room up with what you wish, flowers, more pictures, TV, PC, family and friends. Paint the walls in what colors you want them.

Send me a picture of it, livinginalicesworld@hotmail.com , or post it on a website and give me a link.

Enjoy your dream room.

  "Alice"

Dreams

I tdon't feel the pain anymore. There is no more pain. I feel joy. I feel happiness. I feel free. The pain is gone.

I love it! I love my life, I love school, I love the bright blue eyes, I love my friends, I love my room, I love it all!

It's ok that I don't know. I think it will work out, one way ore another. It's ok that I don't know what will happen, because I also don't quite know what I want to happen.

Although, I kind of do. I dream. I dream alot these days. I dream about what I want to happen, what can't happen, what might happen, and sometimes, just sometimes, I dream about looking into those eyes again.

Of dreams, you can learn so much. You can learn your hearts desires, or your deepest fears. You can learn to look and not see, and to see without looking. You can learn to love and to hate. But mostly, you learn what you long for.

I long for freedom. I long for a hug, a touch. I long to be noticed. I long to dance in the wicked light of a full moon at midnight. I long to walk up those stairs again. I long to read books I don't have time to read, and to write what I don't yet know what means. And I long to look into blue eyes again.

I long to sing to the guitar playing. I long to dance around a dark room. I long to ask stupid questions and get serious answers. I long to lean on a shoulder and sleep. I long to live in love once again.

I do know what will happen. I do know what I want. I want to look into those eyes, and see that smile, hear the laugh, the voice talking. And I will. I will soon, and then again, and again. And I can't wait.

I can't wait!

  "Alice"

So Lovely

So lovely, fine blue sky.
So lovely, birds singing, sun always out, good movies.
So lovely, seeing friends again after a long summer.
So lovely, looking foreward to a year full of learning things I actually want to learn.
So lovely, fine blue sky.

So lovely, the boy with shiny blue eyes.
So lovely, the way he smiles when he says "hi" in the hallways.
So lovely, how he plays guitar like he was born for it.
So lovely, the drawings on he's bedroom wall.
So lovely, the boy with shiny blue eyes.

So lovely, burning candles in my bedroom.
So lovely, bed, pillows and blankets.
So lovely, a good book by Michael White.
So lovely, the soft music in the background.
So lovely, burning candles in my bedroom.

So lovely, the thoughts in my head.
So lovely, sitting next to him on a sofa.
So lovely, and fine features.
So lovely, the laugh when I say something funny.
So lovely, the thoughts in my head.

So lovely, learning the thoughts of men long gone.
So lovely, Shakespeares famous plays.
So lovely, the forbidden works of the classical antiquity.
So lovely, the many believes in different Gods.
So lovely, learning the thoughts of men long gone.

So lovely, the boy with shiny blue eyes.
So lovely, the way he looked at me today, from across the cafeteria.
So lovely, writing songs on the guitar.
So lovely, the pencil hits a blank sheet and a picture is made.
So lovely, the boy with shiny blue eyes.

  "Alice"

PS: I'm sorry for not being very active lately, I've had some connection problems with my internet. It's not fixed yet, so no pictures.

This time

Today is a day the internet is actually working. But it's still raining outside my window. But then again, I'm also still talking to him. And that other guy.

That other guy... I'm not sure what he is. He's not normal. He's cute, nice, always talking. And in love with my best friend. That's kind of funny, he talks more to me than to her. But that's just because she's impossible to get a hold of.

So him. He's... not normal either. But in a different way. He's older in years and in mind. He's nice, fun, good. And not a regular kid I can trick into doing and saying what I want them to.

So this time... I don't know what's going to happen. I don't even know what I want to happen. I'm not sure if I like him. Maybe I do. But right now, it doesn't matter.

He makes me smile. With every word, everything he says, I smile. And relax. I'm never nervous around him.

And I don't mind, whatever happens. This time, life decides, I'm not going to try.

  "Alice"

I really want that

I really want that.

I can beg. Get down on my knees. I can talk smooth and smile sweetly. Wrap you around my little finger.

You are going to do everything I want you to. You know I can. I'm in control. I know what I want, and I know exactly how to get it.

See, if I really want something. There's not a question. There's the I want, and I'm going to get. There's no price to high. I can get the prices where I want them.

I know how to make you love me. How to make you breed and live for me. I know how to make you beg for more. And get down on your knees.

It's not going to matter if I do it first, cause at the final punch, I will be in complete control. And you will do whatever I want you to.

You know I'm right. You know how to say no, and I'm sure you notice how I'm not used to that. I'll win. Wait and see. I always do.

If it takes a bit longer, that's ok. I'm only in it for the game. The harder it get's, the longer the game will last, and the longer I will stay.

Don't worry. It's not like I forget. Or like it doesn't matter. I'm just made for fun. Up til now, you are the most interesting.

They all fall so easily. It's like they have no clue what happens to them. And I can do the same again and again. Come and go as I want. They'll all be there when I come back.

Not so sure about you. That's what makes you more fun. You don't give in. Sometimes, you almost know how to push me around.

But I really want that. And I am going to get it.

  "Alice"

Love and Hate

Some sins are just not done to be forgiven. Some are meant to create hate, to burn holes in your heart.

And some times, what you need to do is get over yourself, get over them, and show the world you can put the fire out before you get your heart permanently damaged.

Hate is both powerful and dangerous, it's not to be embraced but pushed away, and never allowed to set root in anyone.

And as hate is, that is also love, powerful and dangerous, but at the same time it's the quite opposite. Let it take over your heart, make it home, and give it to everyone. Even those who hate.

For love turns hate into fear

  "Alice"

Burning hate

The hate is burning deep in my heart, bigger and bigger for every second, if I could get my claws in you.

I hope you regret it, I know you don't, you belive to strong for your own good. You killed her.

Now I would kill you slowly, torture, the pain crushing through your body, begging, screaming, never could you imagine what I would do to you.

Every second the fire gets bigger and darker, as I hear your screams in my head, though they aren't real they make me feel good. Warm. And at peace.

And as the hate grows for you, the love grows for them. I would do anything to keep them safe. You want to kill them. Now where would that leave you?

And as my hate grows for you, the hate of the whole world will against you, and the love will back up those you touched. You will lose.

And we will show every other foul soul, you have no home on our earth.

  "Alice"

Give love a home in your heart, love them and let them love you back, show you care and put a smile on someones face, and give your heart to those that need it the most.


To Norway, and everyone touched by the tragedy.

Gone + Mare

I'm reading again. And every single time I start a new book again, I don't get why I didn't start before. It's so calming, just floating through the books, not having a care in the world as you dissappear into worlds unknown.

I'm now going to start Gone - two. I also have number three, to read. I don't think they will take too long. I read number one a long time ago, I liked it. It was different. Somewhat interesting.

I'm also reading a Norwegian book, Mare. Or the series, more like it. Three books, I got through the first one, and two thirds of the second one today. They are really easy, and more like childrens-books. Probably because they are childrens books.

I'm not going to tell you to go read them. They are childrens books, odd - in a good way I think, and very not for anyone.

But the Gone-books are really good, them you really should read. They are not hard reading. Nor really easy. Stuck somewhere in the middle. And they are good reading, big books, but quick and entertaining.

Now, I'm going to get some sleep before my.. 35 hours (give or take) of plans and tiny breaks that can't be used for anything but drink energy drinks.

  "Alice"

Time

So, staring at the wall... I feel like I have nothing to do... Yet so much. And I feel relaxed.

I know next week will not be my best. It just doesn't feel that way. Neither will it be bad. I think it will be just average.

Boring. Not so much to do, yet enough to get me tired. I'll have time to write. A lot. Probably every day. Though maybe not Tuesday.

That is going to be a good day. Harry Potter, the last one. We have finally reached the finish line. The final one. There will be no more.

I'm kind of scared that the movie will dissappoint me. But I think it will be good. I think it will be great! Can't wait!

And my project is still ongoing, "Verses from the Lord of the Rings - Book 1" was just the beginning.

And I'm sorry it takes so much time.

  "Alice"

Verses from the Lord of the Rings - book 1

First by Bilbo Baggins as he left the Shire for the last time, later by Frodo Baggins as he walked in Bilbos footsteps many years later with the One Ring.
"The road goes ever on and on
down from the door where it began
and far ahead the road has gone
now I must follow if I can
Pursuing it with eager (weary) feet
untin it joins a larger way
where many paths and errands meet
and whither then, I cannot say"

An old verse of Elven-lore, told to Frodo Baggins by Gandalf the Gray, when they first knew for sure it was the One Ring.
"Three rings for the elven-kings under the sky
Seven for the dwarf-lords in their halls of stone
Nine for mortal men, doomed to die
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
in the land of Mordor where shadows lie
One ring to find them all, one ring to bind them
One ring to rule them all and in the darkness bind them
in the land of Mordor where shadows lie"

A song  by Bilbo Baggins, sung by Frodo Baggins, Samwise Gamgee and Peregrin Took as they walk towards Buckland.

Upon the heart the fire is red,

Beneath the roof there is a bed;

But not yet weary are our feet,

Still round the corner we mey meet

A sudden tree or standing stone

That none have seen but we alone.

   Tree and flower and leaf and grass,

   Let them pass! Let them pass!

   Hill and water under sky,

   Pass them by! Pass them by!

Still round the corner there may wait

A new road or a secret gate,

And though we pass them by today,

Tomorrow we may come this way

And take the hidden paths that run

Towards the moon or to the sun.

   Apple, thorn and nut and Sloe,

   Let them go! Let them go!

   Sand and stone and pool and dell,

   Fare you well! Fare you well!

Home is behind, the world ahead,

And there are many paths to tread

Through shadows to the edge of night,

Until the stars are all a light.

Then world behind and home ahead,

We'll wander back to home and bed.

   Mist and twilight, cloud and shade,

   Away shall fade! Away shall fade!

   Fire and lamp, and meat and bread,

   And then to bed! And then to bed!

By the High Elves the same three meet on their road, lead by Gildor, but as Frodo Baggins heard it in English, and not in their elven-tounge.

Snow-white! Snow-white! O Lady clear!

O Queen beyond the Western Seas!

O Light to us that wander here

Amid the world of wowen trees!

Gilthoniel! O Elbereth!

Clear are thy eyes and bright thy breath!

Snow-white! Snow-white!We sing to thee

In a far land beyond the sea.

O stars than in the sunless Year

With shining hand by her were sown,

In windy fields now bright and clear

We see your silver blossom blown!

O Elbereth! Gilthoniel!

We still remember, we who dwell

In this far land beneath the trees,

 Thy starlight on the Western Seas.

Sung by Samwise Gamgee and Peregrin Took as they stopped for a lunch break.

Ho! Ho! Ho! to the bottle I go

To heal my heart and drown my woe.

Rain may fall and wind may blow,

And many miles be still to go,

But under a tall tree I will lie,

And let the clouds go sailing by.

By Peregrin Took as he, Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee was taking a bath in Frodos new home in Buckland.

Sin hey! for the bath at close of day

that washes the weary mud away!

A loon is he that will not sing:

O! Water Hot is a noble thing!

O! Sweet is the sound of falling rain,

and the brook that leas from hill to plain;

but better than rain or rippling streams

is Water Hot that smokes and steams!

O! Water cold we may pour at need

down a thirsty throat and be glad indeed;

but better is beer, if drink we lack,

and Water Hot poured down the back.

O! Water is fair that leapes on high

in a fountain white beneath the sky;

but never did fountain sound so sweet

as splashing Hot Water with my feet!

Sung by Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrin Took as it was decided that four would walk the way to Rivendell.

Farewell we call to hearth and hall!

Though wind may blow and rain may fall,

We must away ere break of day

Far over wood and mountain tall.

To Rivendell where Elves yet dwell

In glades beneath the misty fell,

Through moor and waste we ride in haste,

And whither then we cannot tell.

With foes ahead, behind us dread, 

Beneath the sky shall be our bed, 

Until at least our toil be passed,

Our journey done, our errand sped.

We must away! We must away!

We ride before the break of day!

By Frodo Baggins to cheer up the company of four as they wandered through the Old Forest.

O! Wanderers in the shadowed land

despair not! For though dark they stand,

all woods there be must end at least,

and see the open sun go past:

the setting sun, the rising sun,

the day's end, or the day begun.

For east or west all woods must fail.

By Tom Bombadil, the first time he met the Hobbits.

Hey dol! merry dol! ring a dong dillo!

Ring a dong! hop along! fal lal the willow!

Tom Bom, jolly Tom, Tom Bomabadillo!

Hey! Come merry dol! derry dol! My darling!

Light goes the weather-wind and the featheres starling.

Down along under Hill, shining in the sunlight,

Waiting on the doorstep for the cld starlight,

There my pretty lady is, River-woman's daughter,

Slender as the willow-wand, clearer than the water.

Old Tom Bombadil water-lilies bringing

Comes hopping home again. Can you hear him singing?

Hey! Come merry dol! derry dol! and merro-o,

Goldberry, Goldberry, merry yellow berry-o!

Poor old Willow-man, you tuck your roots away!

Tom's in a hurry now. Evening will follow day.

Tom's going home again water-lilies bringing.

Hey! Come derry dol! Can you hear me singing?

By Tom Bombadil once again, as he danced along the road home, after telling the hobbits to follow him.

Hop aling, my little friends, up the Withywindle!

Tom's going on ahead candles for to kindle.

Down the west sinks the Sun: soon you will be groping.

When the night-shadows fall, then the door will open,

Out of the window-panes light will twinkle yellow.

Fear no alder black! Heed no hoary willow!

Fear neither root nor bough! Tom goes on before you.

Hey now! merry dol! We'll be waithing for you!

And as they were reaching his house in the night.

Hey! Come derry dol! Hop along, my hearties!

Hobbits! Ponies all! We are found of parties!

Now let the fun begin! Let us sing together!

By Goldberry, the River-daughter, at the same time.

Now let the song begin! Let us sing together

Of sun, stars, moon and mist, rain and cloudy weather,

Light on the buddling leaf, dew on the feather,

Wind on the open hill, bells on the heather,

Reeds by shady pool, lilies on the water:

Old Tom Bombadil and the River-daughter!

By Frodo Baggins, for Goldberry as he entered her house.

O slender as a willow wand! O clearer than the water!

O rees by the living pool! Fair River-daughter!

O spring-time and summer-time, and spring again after!

O wind on the waterfall, and the leaves' laughter!

By Tom Bombadil, as he was tending the hobbit's horses.

Old Tom Bombadil is a merry fellow;

Bright blue his jacket is, and his boots are yellow.

Tom Bombadil, as an answer to a question of Frodo Baggins.
I had an errand there: gathering water-lilies,
green leaves and lilies white to please my pretty lady,
the last ere the year's end to keep them from the winter,
to flow by her pretty feet till the snows are melted.
Each year at summer's end I go to find them for her,
in a wide pool, deep and clear, far down the Withywindle;
there they open first in Spring and there they linger latest.
By that pool long ago I found the River-daughter,
fair young Goldberry sitting in the rushes.
Sweet was her singing then, and her heart was beating!

And that proved well for you - for now I shall no longer
go down deep again along the forest-water,
not while year is old. Nor shall I be passing
Old Man Willow's house this side of spring-time,
not till the merry spring, when the River-daughter
dances down the withy-path to bathe in the water.

The verse told by Tom Bombadil for the Hobbits to sing if they got trubble, and later repeated by Frodo Baggins as trubble caught them.
Ho! Tom Bombadil, Tom Bombadillo!
By water, wood and hill, by the reed and willow,
By fire, sun and moon, harken now and hear us!
Come, Tom Bmbadil, for our need is near us!

Heard by Frodo Baggins in the Barrow-Downs.
Cold be the hand and heart and bone,
and cold be sleep under stone:
never more to wake on stony bed,
never, till the Sun fails and the Moon is dead.
In the black wind the stars shall die,
and still on gold here let them lie,
till the dark lord lifts his hand
over dead sea and withered land.

By Tom Bombadil as he comes to the hobbits rescue.
Old Tom Bolbadil is a merry fellow.
Bright blue his jacket is, and his boots are yellow.
None has ever cought him yet, for Tom, he is the master:
His songs are stronger songs, and his feet are faster

Get out, you old wight! Vanish in the sunlight!
Shrivel like the cold mist, like the winds go wailing,
Out into the barren lands far beyond the mountains!
Come never here again! Leave your barrow empty!
Lost and forgotten be, darker than the darkness,
Where gates stand for ever shut, till the world is mended.

Wake now my merry lads! Wake and hear me calling!
Warm now my heart and limb! The cold stone is fallen;
Dark door is sanding wide; dead hand is broken.
Night under night is flown, and the Gate is open!


Hey! now! Come hoy now! Whither do you wande?
Up, down, near or far, here, there or yonder?
Sharp-ears, Wise-nose, Swish-tail and Bumpkin,
White-socks my little lad, and old Fatty Lumpkin!

Tom's country ends here: he will not pass the borders.
Tom has his house to mind, and Goldberry is waiting!

By Frodo Baggins, as they had reached the Prancing Pony.
There is and inn, a merry old inn
beneath an old grey hill,
And there they blew a beer so brown
That the Man in the Moon himself came down
one night to drink his fill.

The ostler has a tipsy cat
that plays a five-stringed fiddle;
And up and down he runs his bow,
Now squeeking high, now purring low,
now sawing in the middle.

The landlord keeps a little dog
that is mighty found of jokes;
When there's good cheer among the guests,
He cocks an ear at all the jests
and laughs until he chokes.

They also keep  a hornéd cow
as proud as any queen;
But music turns her head like ale,
And makes her wave her tufted tail
and dance upon the green.

And O! the rows of silver dishes
and the store of silver spoons!
For Sunday there's a special pair,
And these they polish up with care
on Saturday afternoons.

The Man in the Moon was drinking deep,
and the cat began to wail;
A dish and a spoon in the table danced
The cow in the garden madly pranced,
and the little dog chaced his tail.

The Man in the Moon took another mug,
and then rolled beneath his chair;
And there he dozed and dreamed of ale,
Till in the sky the stars were pale,
and dawn was in the air.

Then the ostler saud to his tipsy cat:
'The white horses of the Moon,
They neigh and champ their silver bits;
But their master's been and drowned his wits
and the Sun'll be rising soon!'

So the cat on his fiddle played hey-diddle-diddle,
a jig that would wake the dead:
He squeaked and sawed and quickened the tune,
While the landlord shook the Man in the Moon:
'It's after three!' he said.

They rolled the Man slowly up the hill,
and bundled him into the Moon,
While his horses galloped up in rear,
And the cow came capering like a deer,
and a dish ran up with the spoon.
Now quicker the fiddle went deedle-dum-diddle;
the dog began to roar,
The cow and the horses stood on their heads;
The guests all bounded from their beds
and danced upon the floor.

With a ping and a pong the fiddle-strings broke!
the cow jumped over the Moon,
And the little dog laughed to see such fun,
And the Saturday dish went off at a run
with the silver Sunday spoon.

The round Moon rolled behind the hill
as the Sun raised up her head.
She hardly belived her fiery eyes;
For though it was day, to her surprise
they all went back to bed!

Made by Bilbo Baggins, written about Aragorn by Gandalf the Gray in the letter given to Frodo Baggins at the Prancing Pony.
All that is Gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadow shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
And crownless again shall be king.

Written long ago in an ancient tongue, translated by Bilbo Baggins and sung by Samwise Gamgee, as the hobbits was headed out of Bree and towards Rivendell with Aragorn.
Gil-galad was an Elven-king.
Of him the harpers sadly sing:
the last whose realm was fair and free
between the mountains and the sea.

His sword was long, his lance was keen,
his shining helm afar was seen;
the countless stars of heaven's field
were mirrored in his silver shield.

But long ago he rode away,
and where he dwelleth none can say;
for into darkness fell his star
in Mordor where the shadows are

By Aragorn as the company of five when they paused for the night by Weathertop.
The leaves were long, the grass was green,
The hemlock-umbels tall and fair,
And in the glade a light was seen
Of stars in shadow shimmering.
Tinúviel was dancing there
To music of a pipe unseen,
And light of stars was in her hair,
And in her rainment glimmering.

There Beren came from mountains cold,
And lost he wandered under leaves,
And where the Elven-river rolled
He walked alone and sorrowing.
He peered between the hemleck-leaves
And saw in wonder lowers of gold
Upon her mantle and her sleeves,
And her hair like shadow following.

Enchantment healed his weary feet
That over hills were doomed to roam;
And forth he hastened, strong and fleet,
And grasped at moonbeams glistening.
Through woven woods in Elvenhome
She lightly fled on dancing feet,
And left him lonely still to roam
In the silent forest listening.

He heard there oft the flying sound
Of feet as light as linden-leaves,
Or music welling underground,
In hidden hollows quavering.
Now withered lay the hemloch-sheaves,
And one by one with sighing sound
Whspering fell the beechen leaves
In the wintry woodland wawering.

He sought her ever, wandering far
Where leaves for years were thickly strewn,
By light of moon and ray of star
In frosty heavens shivering.
Her mantle glinted in the moon,
As on a hill-top high and far
She danced, and her feet was strewn
A mist of silver quivering.

When winter passed, she came again,
And her song released the sudden spring,
Like rising lark, and falling rain,
And melting water bubbling.
He saw the Elven-flowers spring
About her feet, and healed again
He longed by her to dance and sing
Upon the grass untroubling.

Again she fled, but swift he came.
Tinúviel! Tinúviel!
He called her by her Elvish name;
And there she halted listening.
One moment stood she, and a spell
His voice laidd on her: Beren came,
And doom fell on Tinúviel
That in his arms lay glistening.

As Beren looked into her eyes
Within the shadows of her hair,
The trembling starlight of the skies
He saw there mirrored shimmering.
Tinúviel the elven-fair,
Immortal maiden elven-wise,
About him cast her shadowy hair
And arms like silver glimmering.

Long was the way that fate them bore,
O'er stony mountains cold and grey,
Through halls of iron and darkling door,
And woods of nightshade morrowless.
The Sundering Seas between them lay,
And yet at least they meet once more,
And long ago they passed away
In the forrest singing sorrowless.

By Samwise Gamgee, as they sit by the trolls known from Bilbo Baggins' adventures.
Troll sat alone on his seat of stone,
And munched and mumbled on a bare old bone;
For many a year he had gnawed in near,
For mead was hard to come by.
Done by! Gum by!
In a cave in the hills he dwelt alone,
And meat was hard to come by.

Up came Tom with his big boots on.
Said he to Troll: 'Pray, what is yon?
For it looks ike shin o' my nuncle Tim,
As should be a-lyin' in graveyard.
Caveyard! Paveyard!
This many a year since Tim been gone,
And I thought he were lyin' in graveyard.'

'My lad,' said Troll, 'this bone I stole.
But what be bones that lie in a hole?
Thy nuncle was dead as lump o' lead,
Afore I found his shinbone.
Tinbone! Thinbone!
He can spare a share for a poor old troll,
For he doesn't need his shinbone.'

Said Tom: 'I don't see why the likes o' thee
Without axin' leave should go makin' free
With the shank or the shin o' my father's kin;
So hand the old bone over!
Rover! Trover!
Though dead he be, it belongs to he;
So hand the old bone over!'

'For a couple o' pins,' says Troll, and grins,
'I'll eat thee too, and gnaw thy shins.
A bit o' fresh meat will go down sweet!
I'll try my teeth on thee now.
Hee now! See now!
I'm tired of gnawing old bones and skins;
I've a mind to dine on thee now.'

But just as he thought his dinner was caught,
He found his hands had hold of nought.
Before he could mind, Tom slipped behind
And gave him the boot to larn him.
Warn him! Darn him!
A bump o' the boot on the seat, Tom thought,
Would be the way to larn him.

But harder than stone is flesh and bone
Of a troll that sits in the hills alone.
As well set your boot to the mountains root,
For the seat of a troll don't feel it.
Peel it! Heal it!
Old Troll laughed, when he heard Tom groan,
And he knew his toes could feel it.

Tom's leg is game, since home he came,
And his bootless foot is lasting lame;
But troll don't care, and he's still there
With the bone he boned from it's owner.
Doner! Boner!
Troll's old seat is still the same,
And the bone he boned from it's owner.

   "Alice"

The Win

It's flying away so fast, I can't see which direction it's headed. I don't even know if I'm with it, or if I'm left behind.

It's spinning, twisting, turning, it's here and there, it's up and down in a blurr of colors, everything and nothing.

I hold on, I keep running, I try to catch up, try to figure out where I am, and where I'm going, who is with me and who is not.

It doesn't matter. They who are willing to go with me are all that matters. The road is all that matters. The destination, and who is left behind, means nothing.

It's all buildt this way. If you want to know, if you want to see, if you want control. That's when you lose.

I win. I always do. I go the way that makes me happy, I walk the roads that makes me smile. And walk with those that wish to go with me.

It's going on and on, foreverlasting journeys, roads that never ends, new people come and go, and some stay. Those are the ones worth trust. Those are the ones that trust you.

 And never will you know, who will stay and who will go, but feel it in your heart and you will see who it will be.

  "Alice"

The Three

One solid kick in the balls.

I know. It's wrong. And probably not gonna happen. But I want it to. And I am going to try to make it.

Now, that has nothing to do with being kicked in the balls (which by the way is meant literally, since I'm a girl). I get dissappointed when I don't get something I want. Especially when it's a total ban for life. Oh well.

Now to the other thing. I'm not sure why. It's not irresistable. Not... me. Well, I guess it is me. Random is me. New, weird.

But still not completely me. It's different in a new way. A way that I like. And even though it shouldn't, and I know I'm gonna pay for it if it does, I'll do my best to make it happen.

And maybe the price won't be so high. I'd think it's worth the price. It would be fun. Only fun. That's all I want.

And then there's him. Soo beautiful eyes. Blue. Glowing. And the smile, always there, lighting the room up. Another want. Another one that I can't have.

But there's not the kick. It's not only for fun. And not a total ban. I can make it happen, and make it good. And as time goes, I know the price will go down.


But I want that smile to be mine. Those eyes to look at me. I want him.

  "Alice"

To me

Come home to me. See how I walk and talk. See the change. This is not what you wished for. This is what you got.

This is me. I am as tall as the tallest mountain, as deep as the deepest sea. I hold my ground against whatever comes at me.

I am not human. Nor am I anything else. Not that you have seen before at least. I do not feel fear. Not love. Not hate.

I do not feel. I am merely a shadow of life. I live off you. I don't need food or drinks. Strong am I. I am your strengt, opinion, pride.

I am your ego. I know you, all of you, even as you do not know yourself. I can control you when I want to. Make you rise up, or fall down. Beg or turn your back.

You need me. You need me to survive. Without me, you would be empty. You would be too much. I am the all and the nothing. You love me.

Yet you hate me. You hate me for all I am, and all I stand for. You want me to go away. Yet you know, I give you life. I give you strengt and pride. I give you self esteem, and I help you make your stand.

I am not what you wished for. You wanted love without hate, both for yourself and everyone and everything else. You wanted everything to go your way, without having to work for it. You wanted peace and justice. You wanted everything to be right.

I can make that happen. Through me, that can happen. But do not struggle. I can be your pride, I can talk everyone into loving you, I can help you give what you can, and take only what you must.

I can show you love. Through me, you can get it all. Come home to me. See how I walk and talk. See the change. And love it.

  "Alice"

Summer days!

Days fly by in a flair. There's no time. Work, get money, time off, spend money, sleep, read, do this and that, and live life.

Summer has started for sure. First it's raining, two seconds later the sun is shining. Wait another 10 minutes, and the sky is pouring down upon us.

Spend as much time outside as possible. Make as much money as possible. Try not to use so much, and fail bigtime. I'm gonna start saving soon I think. And I have to start reading something else than Tolkien. Something else than fantasy.

Yes, summer has no officially started. One should think that would give me more time for writing, but actually, it gives me no time. Simply because Once Upon a Time, I didn't mind putting aside schoolwork for writing.

Something big is going to come soon though. Huge. So be patient. Just for a little longer.


  "Alice"

J. R. R. Tolkien

And here it is again; how deeply impressed I am by the acomplished mind of John Ronald Reuel Tolkien.

The amazement of the world he made, the complete history of the people, the books written with perfection of detail, not one single simple mistake.

The people he made. The creation. The world, languages, cultures, adventures, heroes. Everything. It is unlike anything I have ever seen or heard of.

Every time I have opened one of his books, this exact same thing have made me wonder where he got it all from? It must have been somewhere. I do not understand how one simple human mind can reach these lengts as his have done.

For his perfection in detail, his not knowing anymore than the reader and (apparent) writer as he writes, his making of a world, a new world, a way to escape. These are all reasons for me to love him.

I am not only talking about The Lord of the Rings now, but all his books, on Arda, Middle Earth, and all else there is within. He actually did start at the beginning, creating the world of his own through The One, making it's story, step by step.

And if it is not completely done, he created the world in one simple human lifetime. How he did it I would have loved to know. I get more amazed for every time I read his books.

And as I say down to every detail, so I mean. For those that have perhaps only seen the movies or read The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit (there and back again), I will  tell you, how complete the family trees are, the languages he made, the tiny details as to birth year and perfection of age in every context where mentioned, never one mistake.

And how he mentiones this and that from the old history of middle earth in Lord of the Rings, and then after goes ahead and writed those stories ahead. He must have been  a freak in completing work, and some father to have.

Insane I think I would call him, mad beyond hope. Though where there is no hope, one must find other ways to go on. A genius of which the like, I think, has never been seen. Im caeda an hon. Imperfect, but as good as I can do right now.


  "Alice"

Beautiful days

I know, I really suck at blogging these days, but there's so much else to do! Movies to go see, friends to hang out with, books to read, sun to sit in, partys to go to and so on and on and on.

So today to is a beautiful day, and I'm not gonna stay here long, but tomorrow, you'll get something good, and I'm gonna try to keep it to every second day at least from now on.

  "Alice"

Darkness

Imagine a time when Darkness was not to be feared.

You need not be afraid of what you do not know, for all is good. The smile is ever bright, and never will it fade.

The light shines always we would say, but if it did not, it would make no difference. Day or night makes no difference.

No harm will get to you, as evil no longer exists. There's no fear, because there is nothing to fear. Even the deepest night is filled with bright joy.

I do wonder, how come we fear the dark? It can do us no harm. It's only what we don't know.

I also wonder, when did we start fearing the dark? Has it ever not been feared by humanity?

Tom Bombadil of Tolkiens making says he "Knew the dark under the stars when it was fearless - before the Dark Lord came from outside". The Dark Lord obviously being whoever first tried to take over the world, I wonder who our Dark Lord is?

And then I wonder how come so many finds joy in fear? We watch horror movies, tell ghost stories, play bloody games, and we love it.

Is it only because we need something to keep us down on earth, something to keep us from flying to the rainbow, we have fear? We use it for kicks, but is there any need in it?

What is fear is what drives the wicked. If fear was what drives evil, with no fear there would be nothing to fear. You would nt need to be afraid, all would be good.

Imagine the time when you need not fear anything. When darkness was as highly welcome as light.


  "Alice"

The Green Mile

How time flys by! With the sun out every day, no more studying to worry about, just hanging with friends, having a good time, relaxing, reading and music.

I have to apologize, and do say I have good reason for my 5 days away, though I will not share them with you. What I will tell you is this; I finished Go Ask Alice. I liked it. Go read.

And I started reading Lord of the Rings again. I LOVE Tolkien. Just love him. I also got a new bok, The Green Mile by Stephen King.

I heard he's a good writer from a friend some time ago, but I never read any of his work before. Right now the books in a friends hands as she stole it (with my permission), so I'll read it when I'm done with Lord of the Rings.

That will probably be by the end of this week, knowing me right. So I'll probably get through a lot of books this summer.

I also got some new music, so for everyone;
Get Scared - deepest cut
Casey Abrams - harder to breathe
Bombay Bicycle club - you already know

I'm sure I could give you alot more, but for now, enjoy!

I'm gonna get lost in the world of Arda, made by Eru, once again.


  "Alice"