Dreams

I tdon't feel the pain anymore. There is no more pain. I feel joy. I feel happiness. I feel free. The pain is gone.

I love it! I love my life, I love school, I love the bright blue eyes, I love my friends, I love my room, I love it all!

It's ok that I don't know. I think it will work out, one way ore another. It's ok that I don't know what will happen, because I also don't quite know what I want to happen.

Although, I kind of do. I dream. I dream alot these days. I dream about what I want to happen, what can't happen, what might happen, and sometimes, just sometimes, I dream about looking into those eyes again.

Of dreams, you can learn so much. You can learn your hearts desires, or your deepest fears. You can learn to look and not see, and to see without looking. You can learn to love and to hate. But mostly, you learn what you long for.

I long for freedom. I long for a hug, a touch. I long to be noticed. I long to dance in the wicked light of a full moon at midnight. I long to walk up those stairs again. I long to read books I don't have time to read, and to write what I don't yet know what means. And I long to look into blue eyes again.

I long to sing to the guitar playing. I long to dance around a dark room. I long to ask stupid questions and get serious answers. I long to lean on a shoulder and sleep. I long to live in love once again.

I do know what will happen. I do know what I want. I want to look into those eyes, and see that smile, hear the laugh, the voice talking. And I will. I will soon, and then again, and again. And I can't wait.

I can't wait!

  "Alice"